Relationship

When I think about life I often ask "In one word, what's it all about"? I used to answer this with the word "experiences." This conclusion came out of a lot of reading (existential philosophy) and a lot of thinking. "Experiences" was how I decided what was worth doing; was it going to make for a good story? Now I thought that I was rather good at being open to new things and to living life to the fullest, but I was quickly confronted with the truth by a close friend that instead I am calculated and timid (bad faith). I wont get into all those details, but I will just say that she was right.  

This has been troubling me ever since I realized that she was right; I needed to reevaluate my conclusion. The thing is that my error isn't that I am calculated, or that I lack spontaneity.  Rather the error comes when if your goal in life is experiences, then consequently you have chosen a life that is completely focused on the self. This may not be obvious, but I think it is true (think subjective isolation). Therefore I have come to a new conclusion that life in one word would be "relationship." 

This is not to be confused with just dating relationships, which is what we often think about due to societal conditioning. Rather I am talking about relationship in a holistic way. Relationship as it relates to God, spouses, family, friends, coworkers, and dating partners. When I shift the focus from experience to relationship, I am also choosing to invest my time in others rather than myself. Living a good story is no longer about the quantity of experience, but rather the quality of relationships. 

I am not exactly sure how all this plays out in the practical sense, but as I work through it I will undoubtedly have more thinking to do. Therefore providing for more blogging material, which will hopefully prevent another year long blog famine.

Every man a captain...

There is a man who is on a ship; this ship is in well order and runs smoothly, everything has its time and its function. This man sails the waters carelessly, and he seems to be confident in his ability to sail. He has seen his share of tempestuous weather, and knows that the easy days of calm waters and smooth sailing will inevitably change with time.

He is alone on his ship. He keeps himself busy attending to the daily maintenance of ship and correcting its course; during these times working on the deck, in the sun, life is good. His mind is occupied by the things that keep him busy. At night when the winds calm, and the sails are down, he makes his way below deck, steeps a cup of tea, sits in his bed, and reads.

It is not long before the man becomes drowsy and decides to call it a night. As he lies in bed, trying to succumb to the sleepy rocking of the ship, his mind becomes active. The man knows that his mind, his faithful companion, can be his worst enemy. His mind whispers to him that he is ultimately alone, not only on his ship or in the middle of the ocean, but in life. This is the truth that the man hides from and tries to suppress through his work. He knows it is true though. His ship is well organized, and his course is set, but the destination he does not know and the reason for sailing he knows not either. Life is too evanescent. Eventually sleep overtakes mind.

Although the nights are the worst, they fall to time. His hope is found in the morning when he will come out from below the deck into the cool morning air and stand in the effulgence of the rising sun. Each day he chooses to continue setting a course. Each day he chooses…

Action/Inaction

I have recently discovered that sometimes action in opposition to the consequences can leave one just as doubtful and regretful as deciding to not act. I act out of fear of what could have been, it could be summed in the "Live with no regrets" statement, but maybe this is not the best idea. I have come to conclude that one cannot know when a decision to act will be a decision that will lead to regret; or the contrapositive to that. Therefore I think the decision to act hinges upon whether or not it would be wise to do so. This sounds obvious, but wisdom is logical and emotional at times, but also is transcendent of both. So the question is what is wisdom?

The soundtrack to this post was Never Shout Never and Fleet Foxes

The cold gray encompassing

Right now it is raining hard outside, I can hear the rain against my window and my roommate shuffling around in his bed. I am sitting in my bed under the covers trying to knock off the chill.

Sometimes I wonder how things will turn out.

I have also come to realize that I have no idea where I am going. I will just arrive and probably be surprised at my destination. This realization though will allow me to fashion a rudder, and set a course.

I have recently been feeling rather discontented with my current surroundings. Liberty university is a good school, but I feel as if I am no longer learning. I feel increasingly disconnected.

I hope it rains tomorrow.

Fail blog

So for the most part my intention to start a consistent blog seems to be failing yet again. I will continue to try to keep this going. I just don't feel very motivated to write. I mean I do write, but rarely on here.
It is late right now, so I will write more later.... hopefully.

So I find myself in Cassville, Missouri. It is a rather small town in the southwest corner of MO. It has been about 6 weeks school ended, and my grandiose plans for a productive summer seem to be failing fast. This is probably due to the heat.
Yesterday was my Birthday (23rd). I don't know why I capitalize Birthday, but I seem to have a strong inclination to do it often. The night before my birthday I had a dream that was somewhat disturbing,but more annoying than anything. In my dream there was a guy following me around saying "a birthday is a reminder that behind the thin veil of mortality lies the horror of the shade."
Questions....that litter my thoughts.
What makes a person believe that they can change their environment?
How does a person gather the information required to make a complete definition of a social paradigm/construct?
How does a person introduce a new social paradigm/construct in the most effective manner?